written @ 11:17 p.m. on 2011-02-13
Almost day 14 of laying in bed and im angry. Im stuck, with nowhere to go. I could really use a friend, but i cant find any of them. I guess i just have people i buy and sell to, and when the money is gone so are they.
iv had a few visitors and they were all bringing something in, or taking something out. Except one, really. But she bairly talked, she recintally lost love and cannot function without it. I wonder how how horrible that must be to not be able to live for myself, to only live for someone else? Ugh, maybe i don't have it so bad. Maybe i should stop casting stones even in my private area.
its private, and i didnt even mention her name... and someday, ill look back on this entry and will remember her name.
why did i ever agree to surgery? I mean, six to eight weeks? Come on! What if i walk on the first of march? What if i fuck this surgery up like the last one? And the next three? I took my leg out of the cast on day ten and saw something horrible. I knew it hurt everywhere, and i shouldnt be suprised... but after counting over fifty staples? Its fucking gross. And if i keep smoking which i will then its surgery over and over every year till i die. Okay, its big love time, im off.
Jesso in, for at least four more weeks.